by Irma Voigt
Senior Staff Writer
At the close of The Placement Exchange, held in Chicago in early March, an ad hoc committee met to discuss recommended changes for future years. The Placement Exchange is student development’s largest employment fair, representing multiple national student affairs organizations ranging from housing to orientation to Greek life.
It was the American Fraternal Association (AFA) representative on the ad hoc committee who made the push for stricter recruitment policies.
“We want employers to be on a level playing field,” said Mindy Kohler, Director of Greek Affairs at Dells State University. “Candidates are being wooed by the items left in their mailboxes rather than the actual positions to which they’re applying.”
Kohler provided the ad hoc committee with a list of recruitment tactics that she observed via a fake candidate mailbox she had established. Kohler reported receiving letters stuffed with confetti, snacks throughout the event, notes of encouragement, and a pen that doubled as a flashlight.
“There are schools that can’t compete in this type of environment, especially with the current economic situation. It was my recommendation that we remove candidate mailboxes completely.”
Not everyone on the committee supported Kohler’s recommended changes.
“We dump thousands of dollars into marketing our department at placement exchanges annually,” said Yvonne Behar, Associate Director of Residential Living at Milton University. “It’s the only way we can get candidates to even consider coming here with our party school reputation.”
Behar admitted to using confetti in envelopes as well as inviting candidates to a swanky social with gourmet cupcakes.
“They’ll find out soon enough that life isn’t like this everyday at Milton. For now, why destroy the dream?” said Behar.
The ad hoc committee agreed to adopt several of Kohler’s recommendations including:
- Confetti and glitter are banned from The Placement Exchange venue at all times
- Candidates may only be provided food and beverages during socials that have been approved by the recruitment chair
- Candidates may not receive gifts worth more than $1.00 via their mailboxes
- Employers are banned from using any language that may lead a candidate into thinking they know their status in the recruitment process
Kohler considers this a small victory.
“Not every institution can be pretty and popular,” said Kohler. “Sometimes you have a Phi Mu type of organization out there on the interview floor. You need to protect them, too.”
Tags: acpa, best, budget, career, exchange, fair, interview, naspa, ope, placement, practices, tpe
News
Fortuitously timed after critics’ response to Tufts University’s new policy forbidding residential students from having sexual intercourse with a roommate present, the University has built a state-of-the-art rooftop garden on top of the Tisch Library.
“Why would I want to have sex in my room when I can make out on top of the library?” said one student. “There’s so much room up there, my roommate comes with her boyfriend at the same time.”
“Publicly, we’re winning awards for sustainability and innovation. Privately our students are elated,” said a member of the administration. “It’s really been a win/win.”
“My parents love that I spend so much time at the library,” said another coed. “The stone seats are a little hard, but we’re going to have special memories when we graduate.”
By Juan Hues
Staff Writer
As reported in the St. Louis Post-Dispatch, students at Lindenwood University in Missouri were recently denied the opportunity to start a Gay/Straight Alliance on campus. According to university spokesman Scott Queen, the request for a special organization was denied because it was seen as “rather parochial and self-serving. It doesn’t offer a benefit to the campus community.”
Instead students were encouraged to include other marginalized students on campus to make them feel more included. Administrators believe that the alliance should “deal with race, religion, sexual orientation and other issues that face frequent scrutiny.”
Averry Smite a student noted, “I think we should just do what the university says. I mean I’m just a black gay man in a wheel chair. What do I know about oppression?”
Students will not be able to include the terms sexual orientation or gay in their mission statement or club name. Other student groups will also have to change their names to reflect an all encompassing inclusive attitude for all. To help, administrators submitted a list of approved names for student groups which include:
- United Atheists in Thought will now be known as Atheists for Christ and Christian Teachings
- The Frisbee Alliance will now be known as Frisbee, Hacky Sack, Wheel Chair Basketball and Juggling Club
- Latin American Student Organization will now be known as American Students Club
- The Multicultural Student Forum will now be known as Students for Assimilation
- Students for Choice will now be known as Students for Fetus Rights
- College Republicans will now be known as Republicans, Democrats, Greens, & Socialists for United Government

by Brody Truce
Staff Writer
Nationwide, colleges struggle with engaging faculty in Faculty Senate, the decision-making body on all academic matters at most higher education institutions. Faculty at Whitmore College are no exception.
“Attendance has been abysmal for years,” explained Faculty Senate Chair Dr. Henry Forney, who also serves as Dean of the college’s Department of Music and Theater. “It would be easy to say that our accrediting body requires attendance at faculty senate, but I wanted our faculty to be truly engaged.”
His solution? Faculty Senate Dinner Theater.
Faced with dwindling numbers, Forney employed theatrical elements in last month’s meeting about proposed changes to the college’s academic integrity policy. Faculty enjoyed chicken pilaf, a side of green beans and a production of “West Side Story.”
“During intermission, the Jets and the Sharks debated the pros and cons of changes to our academic integrity policy; faculty cast their votes at the end of the production.”
Forney’s changes resulted in nearly doubled faculty attendance in the first month and the academic integrity policy received full senate approval.
“I was really on the fence about the changes to our academic integrity policy, but the Sharks made a very compelling argument,” explained Hillary McSwain, Professor of Linguistics. “I’m really glad I came.”
“The chicken pilaf was a bit salty, but not as salty as the discussion around academic dishonesty,” declared Mike Riggins, Associate Professor of Physics. “I’m hoping to bring my wife to the next meeting.”
Next month, the cast of “Rent” will propose changes to the college’s core curriculum; a lamb entrée will be served. Attendance is free for faculty and $25 for spouses.

The National Association of Student Personnel Administrators (NASPA) halted plans to merge with the Association of College Personnel Administrators (ACA) on Tuesday night. The long anticipated merger was shelved with the passage of a resolution that highlighted issues NASPA should further consider before progressing with the merger. While news of the halted unification shocked the student affairs community and traveled quickly through social media networks, no group was more surprised than the staff at the Chicago Marriott Downtown Magnificent Mile.
“I never saw this coming,” bartender Angie Penn said. “I’ve spent the past few nights listening to people talk about how great this was going to be for the future of student affairs. I’m in shock.”
Room service was temporarily suspended while the kitchen staff was debriefed on the situation.
“I understand the perspective of those who submitted the resolution,” said Stephen Mitchum, sommelier. “It was a late play but an important one.”
NASPA representatives circulated *copies of the resolution via electronic media shortly after the end of the business meeting. Hotel employees were seen huddled around computers at the reception desk reading the document.
“You know, it’s hard not get invested in a group like this,” said concierge Charles Szcymanski. “We get to know them while they’re here and when they’re passionate about something, so are we.”
Szcymanski said that he spent time comforting several Marriott employees who were concerned that there would never be an opportunity to meet the ACPA counterparts they heard so much about this week.
“I reminded them that this is temporary. This isn’t the end of student affairs. We can move forward from here. We will move forward from here,” said Szcymanski.
* Link to Resolution (in Word format)

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In response to recent reports that campus counseling centers nationwide have had a 16% increase in students seeking assistance, Mother Madre University seeks two additional therapists.
The successful candidate will listen to tearful college students who tell tales of drama, psychosis and mild stress. Will offer meaningful, heart-felt feedback and plenty of tissues. Must consider every student issue a life-or-death circumstance.
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Requirements
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Chicago native Oprah Winfrey is reportedly angry at the National Association of Student Personnel Administrators, though executive leadership of the organization refuses to respond to these claims.
NASPA provided delegates, included candidates and employers at The Placement Exchange, with bright blue reusable bags, similar to those available for purchase at big box stores nationally. With almost 4,000 registered delegates for this year’s annual conference in Chicago, NASPA has a visible presence in the city, particularly on the Magnificent Mile, a stretch of Michigan Avenue that is renowned for its high-end retail options.
Winfrey apparently spotted these bags and demanded that her staff locate one for each member of her talk show’s studio audience. Given the number acquired by the NASPA planning team, no bags were available for Winfrey.
“I thought she was going to lose it,” said an unnamed staff member at Harpo Productions, Inc., the company that produces all of Winfrey’s endeavors. “I distracted her with some Oreo cookies.”
“We are aware of the crisis,” said Jason Nomdecker, a representative from the bag vendor. “We’re extremely hopeful to have more available in time for Oprah’s Favorite Things episode.”
NASPA attendees have been advised to keep their bags close to their bodies to avoid having them stolen by Winfrey’s staffers.
In the most awkward Chicago moment since Michael Jordan bought the Bobcats, 70 candidates at The Placement Exchange (TPE) showed up for job interviews last week to find they had all dressed in the same black suit.
Organizers of TPE, the annual national job fair for professionals in college student affairs, met in an emergency session while volunteers steered humiliated candidates to the adjacent “Stress-Free Zone” for massages, Play Doh, and post-trauma counseling.
“It was only a matter of time,” said one employer who saw the same suit appear at his table five candidates in a row. “Student affairs pros aren’t known as style icons, and they work on a limited budget. Still, it would help if they learned to accessorize more strategically so I could tell them apart.”
A TPE representative has approached officials from the National Association of Student Personnel Administrators (NASPA) who are holding their annual conference in the same Chicago convention center this week.
“We think we could throw together a workshop on conference fashion this week,” explained the representative. “It’s too late for this year’s TPE, but we can be proactive as we consider future participants.”