NCAA Experiments with Millennial-Friendly Win-Win Policy

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In an attempt to meet the needs of today’s generation of “Millennial” student athletes, the NCAA is preparing to initiate a radical two-year experiment.

“Students are used to winning,” explained Bill Convicci, coach of the women’s soccer team at University of South Little Rock, one of the pilot colleges. “From the time they were kids, these athletes have received significant recognition for every competition they’ve been in. Now, we’re bringing that winning tradition to a new level.”

The schools participating in the new win-win program will compete with a goal of ending all games with a tie score. Team members will work together to accomplish the challenging task of reaching tie scores in every game.

“The budget we used to expend on extravagant Bowl games and Final Four tournaments can now be spent on top-quality trophies, medals and certificates for every athlete,” bragged NCAA spokesperson Maryanne Newton. “We haven’t even started, and the old win/lose philosophy already seems outdated. ‘Stalemate’ just sounds more progressive, doesn’t it?”