Exclusive Interview with the Weird Guy at the End of the Hall

Print Friendly

After years of speculation about the weird guy on every dorm hall in America, sat down one-on-one to find out what makes him tick.

CronkNews: Who are you?
Weird Guy:     I’m just that guy down the hall. I don’t come out a lot.

CronkNews:    Why haven’t you made friends with anyone else on the floor?
Weird Guy:     I seem to be an interesting topic for the other kids on the hall. It’s important that I exist so other students can have something to discuss while they’re defining their identities as young adults.

CN: So, your motives aren’t negative?
WG:     Oh, no. Just because I don’t shower much or say hello to people when they greet me, doesn’t mean I don’t care about them. I’m actually there to give them a common experience and a sense that they’re normal. When they’re nervous about fitting in, they can say, “At least I’m not like that guy.” Barking is my way of contributing to a shared sense of community.

CN:      This generation has experienced violence like campus shootings. Is the Weird Guy still a relevant icon? You’re kinda creepy.
WG:     (Laughs) If I had a nickel for every time an RA has come to my room to say, “I’m a little worried about you…”

CN:      Where do you weird guys end up?
Occasionally, one of us finds a career that includes lots of opportunities for staring, but for the most part, we stay in the dorms. We’ll always be there.