Imbiciles in major cities across the US and Europe held candlelight memorial vigil’s for Harvard University’s waining endowment.
“I’m just so sad,” said one tearful woman at a rally in Los Angeles. “I love Harvard so much. I’m going to drive to Cambridge to leave a teddy bear and a handmade greeting card at the front gates of the University.”
Rumors are swirling that Harvard’s development officers are recruiting a group of celebrities, including Ivy League grads Jody Foster, to record a song about Harvard and donate the proceeds to the University.. “We’re really hoping to land Brooke Shields, since she went to Princeton,” said one of the planners. “She’s got awesome vigil appeal since her appearance at the Michael Jackson funeral.”