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Scientists No Closer to Perfecting Committee Idea-Vacuum Technology

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For decades, professors of physics and business administration have been closing in on developing a viable vacuum for college committee ideas, but scientists do not predict a clear breakthrough in this millennium.

“Despite advancements in technology, we haven’t quite reached a point where we can eliminate the silliness of report writing,” admits Rodney Alfresht, the leading American expert on idea-vacuum theory. “Theoretically, it seems plausible to develop a vacuum that could hold all the innovative ideas of a single committee, but we can’t seem to invent a process that would eliminate the busy work of writing reports that will never be read or acted upon.”

When asked about future steps, Alfresht suggested the formation of a brain trust that could collaborate on a development plan. “If you put the right minds in one room and give them a fancy letter of charge, success is inevitable.”