Taxpayers from 36 states have formed a lobbying group called the National Witchdog Group to pressure legislators and President Obama to restrict the funding of obviously-ridiculous university research. Group representative Amy Rohrbach who describes herself as “just an average citizen of Kansas” says she is tired of seeing her tax money go to colleges performing [...]

After years of painstaking research, a team of mathematicians from Cal Tech and MIT have found definitive proof that diversity is indeed a number. Sixteen. “We have finally put and end to the ongoing debate between social scientists and real science,” said team leader Hassan Patel, chair of MIT’s Department of Hard Sciences. “Our research [...]

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Higher Ed Tech Conference 2010: Networking for a Better Tomorrow February 29, 2010, Maui, Hawaii Do you spend most of your office time online? Are you surrounded by technophobes at work? Do you need to work on your tan? We have the conference for you! Pre-Conference Program: “How to Look Like You’re Doing Work When [...]

After years of scientific dignitaries and social change agents, students at St. Rutherford’s College (SRC) in Hillmont, IL celebrated the announcement this week that its administration would commit to better commencement speakers. In a press conference Tuesday, St. Rutherford’s president, Catherine O’Hanahan announced, “Starting in May, 2010, we will welcome only stand-up comedians and popular [...]

After several years of warnings, the NCAA has taken action against colleges that replaced culturally insensitive college mascots with what have been deemed “idiotic replacements” by the impatient athletics organization. The first institution slapped with a reprimand was Shippensburg University in rural PA, which made the decision to change its “Red Raider” mascot from an [...]

“It’s weird,” admitted LSU junior Jason Rammaport this week when it was revealed that his teachers could see him in their classrooms. “I honestly didn’t know,” he said. Many students shared Jason’s shock this week when final grades were released and not all students received perfect scores for class participation. “When I emailed my teacher about [...]

History The Cronk of Higher Education (CronkNews.com) is an online faux-magazine founded by editor-in-chief Leah Wescott in June 2009 to provide critical and satirical analysis of the current events and daily routines at colleges and universities. Senior writers Brody Truce and Irma Pelt joined the CronkNews staff several months after its founding, and a host [...]