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Feminists Demand Apology: Activist Too Pretty

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The Women’s Center staff at Adams & Lee University have issued a memo to other feminist organizations throughout the country asking for a boycott of educational programs involving the Baby Safe Haven movement. “We feel completely duped,” said Women’s Center director Lynn Mariana. “The Baby Save Haven organization does incredible work, saving the lives of children, so we naturally expected a guest speaker who looks more like a feminist. Their representative Renee Marcou is not only pretty but blond.”

Mike and Jean Morrisey, co-founders of Baby Safe Haven, are unsure how to proceed. “We hired someone talented and competent, but we didn’t realize feminism had such strict definitions. We never meant to be insensitive. We just want to promote safe places for helpless babies. We deeply apologize for our flawed screening process, and we will work closely with college feminists to strategize for future events.

Josie Schwab, president of the National Femme Feminists, thinks there may be some middle ground for both the Morriseys and university women’s centers. “Former beauty pageant winner Sarah Palin has learned to put her hair in a bun and wear glasses. Look what a classy feminist role model she is now. There are lessons to be learned here.”