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Southeastern Athletics Conference Considers Banning Trips to the Fridge During Televised Games

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Riding on the momentum of its announcement that it might ban Twittering from the stands at its athletic events, the Southeastern Conference is now brainstorming other ways to make sure home viewers tune in to the televised games.

If we can control leaked Tweets, perhaps we can take things to the next level and ban erroneous trips to the bathroom or kitchen,” said one policy maker. “We think we could disguise Conference agents in pizza delivery uniforms and arrest viewers who step away from the television to answer the door. It\’s brilliant!”

The public wants to know how the Conference intends to enforce its social media policy, let alone the bathroom break rule.

It\’s a work in progress,” assures the spokesperson.