Sophomore Ennui on the Rise: College Counselors Blame FML

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By Brody Truce
Staff Writer

College sophomores have always been a high-risk group for boredom and melancholy, but  recent activity at Chestnut View College has counselors concerned.

“It all started with Trudy Tifton’s post on the ‘F My Life’ website,” said Dr. Jada Voslinger.

My parents bought me a red Mercedes for my birthday.  I asked for pearl white.  Everyone knows red is a factory color.  FML.

“We were obviously very concerned about Trudy’s wellbeing after the post, but since then we’ve seen a snowball of activity on the site from our students. While it\’s healthy to talk about problems, airing this kind of negativity outside of a counseling center can create a nihilistic atmosphere, especially at a school as small as Chestnut View.”

In response, the Counseling Center will launch an alternative website later this month:

“We want to give students a healthier alternative to FML,\” said Dr. Voslinger. \”For instance, Trudy could still post her entry about the disappointment over her car, but she could end the post with ‘but at least I have a Mercedes.  MLIRPG.’”

One of the students we spoke to seemed skeptical.  “It seems like bragging.”

Dr. Voslinger seemed unphased.  “Some may call it bragging; we call it social norming.”

Ted Shen, Vice President of Enrollment Management, says he fully endorses  “Ennui may be entertaining, but it’s bad for enrollment numbers and hard to brand.”

On behalf of Avril Lavigne and Janeane Garofalo, CronkNews respectfully disagrees.