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College Employers Seek Treatment for Grandeur Withdrawal as Recruitment Season Ends

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Counseling services across the country have seen a spike in client numbers as supervisory staff at universities wrap up their hiring for the 2009-10 academic year.

During interviews, everything is perfect,” sighed Linmouth University director of housing Alphonse Ruggles. “When candidates ask me about my leadership style, I know I’m the most visionary and supportive mentor they’ll ever have in their careers. They look so happy when I tell them how wonderful I am.”

Sandra Zorkin, assistant director of development at Louisiana Universities agrees. “My current staff is a bunch of whiners, but every year I hire wonderful amazing applicants. I look forward to that honeymoon period every year when I get rid of the old and recruit fantastic new staff. It will help me save on the money I spend for self-esteem therapy each year.”

The Journal of College Administration indicates that entry-level staff are disappointed that employers portray themselves and their institutions as better than reality would suggest, and would value the opportunity to make more informed decisions about their first jobs.

Like Sandra said, they’re just a bunch of whiners,” replied Ruggles. “I can’t wait to hire new ones to replace them. They always seem to get it when I tell them how great I am.”