NYC Rejoices at Advent of Another Meaningless NCAA Bowl Game

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In the days following the anniversary of the 9/11 terrorist attack on the World Trade Center, many New Yorkers still expressed a feeling of emptiness that could not be filled.

Until now.

The Big East commission has announced that a deal with Yankee Stadium to host a football booby prize championship is almost complete. The affectionately-titled “Yankee Bowl” will pit a third- or fourth-place team from the Big East against the seventh place team in the Big 12.

I feel like the City is finally doing something to help us heal,” said one Manhattanite. “Watching two mediocre teams duke it out in order to milk more money out of us is truly American. New York got it right this time.”

Playing in New York for a phony championship will be awesome,” said one player from Syracuse. “I\’ll feel like a true patriot. I mean like an old fashioned patriot from the 1800s, not the team. But, I mean, Tom Brady is a patriot, too, you know? Just not as much.”