University Offers New Major in Literal Arts

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St. Wesley’s College in Minnesota is pleased to announce approval of its first master’s degree program in Literal Arts. Students may apply now to enroll in the first cohort studying the new curriculum. Admissions requirements include the following:

  • Successful completion of BA or BS in Black & White Thinking

  • Proven ability to ignore big-picture goals in order to complete tasks as assigned on paper
  • Exceptional ability to collect quantitative data but not actually know how to use it to improve performance
  • Sharp focus on points that are not the point

It’s a good fit for students who experience anxiety or confusion when they have to work with abstractions,” brags admissions counselor Tabytha Meyers. “We consider it the anti-Philosophy degree.”

Applications are available by clicking a link. (Actually, you have to follow the instructions that are printed on the linked page. I suppose literally, if you just click the link, you have followed our instructions and we will have to accept you.)