Changes to National Coming Out Day Tradition Exciting for Entire Campus Community …Except Lesbians

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by Brody Truce
Staff Writer

For over two decades, gay students and allies at Lake Pahoja College in Iowa have celebrated National Coming Out Day by dressing alike.

“One year, we all wore pink bandanas,” remarked LGBTQA President Shawn LeFleur.  “Last year, we all wore jeans.”

This week, LeFleur wowed the campus community when he announced that gays and allies would wear Marc Jacobs in celebration of this year’s National Coming Out Day.  In a press release, LeFleur explained:

“Marc Jacobs’ line is versatile and has very fashion-forward color pallet.  Bandanas and jeans are fine, but they don’t say anything about us as a community.  This year’s National Coming Out Day is going to be fabulous.

Brandy Patterson, an LGBTQA ally, said that she was excited about the groundbreaking change. “I’ve been wanting this Marc Jacobs handbag for months.  This was the perfect excuse to buy it!”

Known heterosexual Keith McPherson said the change was a relief. “Last year, I forgot about the Coming Out day and accidentally wore jeans.  People pointed and whispered all day.  It was completely unfair.  This year will be great because I know I don’t own any Marc Jacobs.”  Sources close to McPherson said that he quickly checked all of his clothing labels after the announcement.

Campus lesbians aren’t as excited about LeFleur’s changes to the tradition.

“I didn’t even know what a Marc Jacobs was—I had to Google it and I’m still not sure,” lamented former LGBTQA President Ruth Bulsbaugh.  “Why can’t we just wear jeans again?”

LeFleur rebuffed the criticism.  “Identifying a designer will allow people to express themselves while showing support.  And by the way, this year’s Marc Jacobs collection includes a very cute vintage wash jean.”