Joe “Old Flint” Cousins, head coach of the Charleston State Univerity men’s football team was spied recently working as a cashier at a Home Depot about seven miles from his home campus.
“I feel so sorry for him,” said math professor Paulina Gorzki, who bought a set of screwdrivers from Coach Cousins. “Most football coaches at schools the size of ours make two or three million dollar salaries. Coach Cousins only makes $1.75 million. Now, look at him, the poor thing.”
“I try to live within my means,” said Cousins, an icon of West Virginia athletics. “I try to limit my work at Home Depot to only ten to fifteen hours each week. That helps me cover the twelve-bedroom house and four SUVs without having to build up any credit card debt.”
“We’re proud of Coach Cousins,” bragged Charleston State’s president Ruben Springfeld. “He’s a great example of modesty and humility.”