Old Guard Physics Profs Request Secession

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Physics professors at Swanson University hope to set a new precedent for academic governance by creating two new distinct Physics departments known as “The Old Guard” and “The Whippersnappers.”

Those new kids, with their innovative teaching techniques and disregard for department traditions are just a pain,” said Evalyn Lovelace, the proposed interim chair of the Old Guard. “They like to laugh, and students love them, but I find them difficult to tolerate. We already have separate tables in the cafeteria, and we don\’t sit together in department meetings. Creating separate departments is really just a formality.”

We\’ve never heard of a request like this,” admitted the dean of math and science. “But, I\’m surprised it\’s taken so long. Maybe this is the new answer to departmental politics.”