University Passes First-Ever Honor Code of Silence

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In response to an incident of cultural insensitivity, Madden College president Laurel Stanford charged a committee of administrators and students to review and revise the institution\’s honor code.

The committee thought it had drafted a progressive standard of respect with its first draft, commonly known as the “Don’t Say Anything that Could Possibly Hurt Someone Else’s Feelings Rule.” During the vetting process, however, some campus members thought the policy might be too limiting to healthy intellectual dialogue, and some of the other committee members who drafted the policy retorted that open discussion hurt their feelings.

The committee went back to the drawing board, and realized how obvious the answer was,” said President Stanford. “We now have a proactive, progressive universal gag order on anyone who says anything interesting. In order to stay consistent with the philosophy of the second draft, we didn\’t even vet it! We realized that we have not only improved integrity, but we\’ve sped up efficiency.”

We voted unanimously to support the Honor Code of Silence,” said one of the College\’s trustees. “I can\’t say whether I agree with the policy, because having an opinion on the matter would inevitably offend someone.”