Astrophysicists Fail to Explain How Sun Continues to Rise after Northeastern Dumps Football Program

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For seven consecutive days, the earth has inexplicably continued to spin, even after Northeastern University\’s announcement last Monday, November 23, that NU would terminate its football program.

“According to modern astral-football theories, the world should have come to an end Tuesday morning,” said exhausted sports physicist Marcus Colton. “Our best hypothesis is that it has something to do with the recently discovered Brett Favre Effect.”