Available Immediately, Several Vacancies
Pattensen College, Missouri
Supervisory-level positions in several departments require new personnel. Would oversee five to thirteen staff members who require constant affirmation and ego stroking.
Must be friendly, patient and able to turn a blind eye to staff performance deficits. Supervisory experience optional. Ability to hold staff accountable for responsibilities unimportant. Boss must establish relationship in which supervised staff refer to successful candidate as “one of the nicest people I’ve ever met.” Must be able to look incompetent supervisees in the eye and say “Great idea!” on a daily basis.
Submit resume, references and the most syrupy sweet cover letter ever written.