Naive Administrators Toil Over Budget Requests that Will Never Be Considered

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As deadlines for annual departmental budget requests approach, administrators, like Women’s Center director Judy Whacket of St. Bingham College, toil away, believing that if they can just find the right wording on their requests, their departments will receive increases for the first time in over fifteen years.

Oh, give me a break,” said St. Bingham VP of Financial Affairs Morty Grandy. “We know years in advance who’s going to get increases. Judy is a nice lady, but these requests have nothing to do with who gets the money. The Women’s Center? C’mon. How much money did they make for the College in the past decade?”

We don’t even read the twenty-page reports,” echoed another CFO who asked to remain anonymous. “We make our staff fill them out to keep them busy. It muffles their whining for a few months.”