Axed ND Coach Turns Losing into Lo-Fat Lemon Cheesecake

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by Irma Voigt
Staff Reporter

There is life after coaching a Division I football team, at least for outgoing University of Notre Dame football coach Charlie Weis.

“We’re pleased to announce that Charlie Weis is the new face of Jenny Craig,” spokeswoman Cindy Lombard said. Jenny Craig is a diet and nutrition program with franchises throughout North America.

Weis joins a prestigious line of famous fatties who have provided Jenny Craig celebrity endorsements, including Kirstie Alley and Valerie Bertinelli.

Responding to speculation that Weis’ endorsement is an effort to combat rival company Nutrisystem’s signing of pro footballer Dan Marino as celebrity endorser, Lombard said, “There’s no comparison. Dan Marino was inducted into the Pro Football Hall of Fame in 2005. Charlie Weis is going to be on giant posters in strip mall storefronts.”

Weis turned down offers from NBC’s ratings wonder child Biggest Loser and Oxygen’s Dance Your Ass Off, both weight loss-focused reality television shows.

Weis was fired from his head coach position at Notre Dame after a 6-6 season for the Irish.

Asked if his projected weight loss was expected to improve his coaching performance, Weis said, “Probably not. I was signed on because I’m good at losing.”