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Grandfield University freshman Beverly Joinder filed a lawsuit against the school last week, claiming GU professors had failed to disclose all of the requirements of their classes.

I paid a lot of money for a GU degree,” said Joinder in her press conference. “That piece of paper is costing my family a ton, and now I’m expected to pay for learning, too? What’s in my brain is personal and no one’s business. I’m talking to my lawyers about adding an additional lawsuit for invasion of privacy.”

Several other freshmen, including Jacob Ho are considering teaming with Joinder in a class action suit. “I read the syllabi in my classes carefully, and each professor listed the required texts and materials for their courses, but they never said anything specific about required learning until after I’d taken finals. They should go to jail for fraud.”