by Irma Voigt Staff Writer A Resident Assistant at Southern Kentucky University took her job responsibilities too far during exam week, according to a press release from the University’s Office of Student Conduct. “While studying for finals at our local Starbucks, the Resident Assistant became enraged at the noise generated by other patrons. She issued [...]

Trustees of Cooper College held an emergency meeting over the weekend to decide how to respond to billionaire George Muff’s offer to donate 51% of the much-needed revenue to build a new football stadium. “During these economic times, it’s been extremely difficult to find a donor,” said board president Kerwin Standish, “but come on. He’s [...]

Residents of the Tharp School of the Arts Theater House voted to eject acting major Coco DeRosa because she did not bring enough drama to the dorm community “She was so boring,” said her roommate Violet Zizzle. “I don’t think I saw her cry once the whole time we lived together.” Zizzle initially reported her [...]

Drum rolllllllllllllllllll…. The number one most popular CronkNews article of 2009……… Colleges Create New and Exciting Ways to Make Dorm Sex as Uncomfortable as Possible

If for any reason our #1 most popular post of 2009 cannot fulfill its duties, we present you with her uglier, less popular sister. #2 Most Popular Post of 2009: UCLA Undies Runners Just Want to Be Treated Like Adults

We’re down to our bestest, most appreciated articles of 2009. Enjoy! #3 Most Popular Post of the Year: University Implements Beauty Requirement for Graduating Seniors

We’re exhausted from all the Y2K-10 computer upgrades we’ve had to make. To keep you entertained, we’ve provided our Best of Decade countdown. #4 Most Popular Post of 2009: University Offers New Major in Literal Arts

In an effort to give our writers a well-deserved vacation, we’re opting for the classic end-of-decade countdown. We’re only six months old, but in dogma years, we’re ageless. #5 Most Popular Post of 2009: University Rejects Innovative Plan to Do the Right Thing. “Not Measurable,” Says VP

Welcome to the new year! We’re enjoying our holiday so much, we’ve decided to extend our vacation for a few more days. #6 Most Popular CronkNews Post of 2009: H1N1 Flu Scare Second Only to Twitter Competency Requirements in Recent Faculty Poll