Job Posting: Consultant Needed to Fire Margaret

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Available Immediately
Henry Clay University

Consultant sought to fire our Dean of Enrollment, Margaret. Consultant must provide a site visit under the guise of writing a comprehensive report to inform the University\’s admissions processes. In the end, the successful candidate will submit a report that includes a list of national best practices, advice about the admissions procedures at Henry Clay, and the strong recommendation to terminate Margaret\’s employment.

The successful candidate will have an extensive background in college admissions and the ability to do anything our president asks, no matter how crazy it might seem.

Must have exceptional writing skills and the ability to make a strong case against Margaret despite her 18 years of exceptional performance at the University. Preference will be given to those consultants who can scare the bajeezus out of the rest of the University\’s administration so we can finally put an end to competent professionals challenging the president with so-called “ideas” and “data.”