Job Post: Professor of Life Lessons. Criminal Record or Sex Scandal Required

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Professor Emeritus of Life LessonsWilliam C. Jefferson School of DiplomacyDubois University, Arkansas
Opening for Fall 2010

Will teach the theory and philosophy of successful rebounds from epic failures. Modeled after
Elliot Spitzer\’s position at City College of New York and the recent Washington & Lee speaking engagement conducted by humiliated New York Times ex-journalist Jayson Blair, the Life Lessons professor will teach from the heart.

Ideal Candidate
Must be able to spin mind-blowing scandal into inspirational pep talks about “the best thing that ever happened to me.” Special consideration will be given to shamed US Senator John Edwards, South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford and (pending resolution of current scandal) Tiger Woods.

Successful candidates will receive tuition waivers for sons, daughters and friends to attend the *
MBA program of choice.

*Waivers sponsored by the Bernie Madoff Grant Foundation while supplies last.