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Spring Break Draws to End. Weary Middle-Class Parents Rejoice

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By Brody Truce
Senior Staff Writer

This year, Cancun’s Playa Platino resort was the destination of choice for many students at Chestnut View College, an elite liberal arts college in New Hampshire.

“We are having a totally awesome time,” exclaimed Buffy Billingsley, a first year student at Chestnut View. “All of the girls on my floor thought it was really important to break in this part of the world to support the local economy. Things have been super bad here with all of the earthquakes, so we wanted to do our part.”

But our country’s economic slowdown has left some Chestnut View students out in the cold. Students from middle class homes—often referred to as “scholarship babies” by their peers—have been forced to explore thriftier spring break options.

“I decided to spend my vacation at home,” confessed Greg Barnes, a freshman at Chestnut View College. “At first I was disappointed that I wasn’t going to Cancun with my bros, but being home has actually been pretty cool.”

Greg’s parents, who wished to remain anonymous, disagreed.

“We were so happy to see Greg, but after a week, we’re frankly ready to see him go back to school,” remarked his mother. “He spends all day texting his friends and watching television. I’m not sure I can stomach another evening of \’Jersey Shore\’ reruns. I missed the season finale of The Bachelor because of Greg.”

“I didn’t remember him eating this much when he lived here,” said Greg’s father. “I didn’t mind him eating all of the cold cuts or drinking the last of the milk, but he ate our only box of Daisy Go Round Girl Scout cookies. I waited all year for those cookies and I didn’t even get to eat one. I’m just nonplused by this behavior.”

“I think coming home was the right thing to do,” said Greg of his choice. “I saved a ton of money and I feel refreshed for the rest of the semester. I may do this every year.”

Greg’s parents have reportedly already dipped into their retirement fund to send their son on Spring Break in 2011.