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Custodian Fired for Poop Clean-Up Incivility

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by Brody Truce
Senior Staff Writer

After nearly 35 years of service, Myrtle White was dismissed from her position as residence hall custodian on grounds of incivility towards students on the third floor of Watson Hall, a co-ed floor housing 42 students at Eastern Maryland College.

According to residents of the floor, Miss White—lovingly referred to by students as “Janitor Lady”—taped a scathing letter to the door of a bathroom stall after finding that a student had defecated on the walls, toilet seat and floor. The note read:

I certainly hope you feel better after taking your massive shit. I hope you can live with this until Monday.

Miss White left the residence hall immediately after writing the note on Friday, reportedly refusing to clean the mess.

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“I’ve never seen anything so rude in my life,” said Laura McCall, a resident of the floor. “How could she write something like that? And how are we supposed to survive the weekend with only one bathroom stall?”

“We simply can’t tolerate this sort of behavior,” explained Mike Rosario, Director of Facilities. “Custodians can’t be writing swear notes and posting them for students to see. Swearing at students is a violation of our college’s civility policy.”

Miss White was dismissed from her custodial position upon returning to work on Monday morning.

Third floor students were elated to have their bathroom cleaned on Monday and pleased about Miss White’s dismissal.

“I sure hope that mean Janitor Lady learned a lesson about civility from all of this,” proclaimed Jared Larson, a resident of the floor who is suspected by many floormates of being the pooper.

Although we reached Miss White via telephone late Monday evening, she politely declined to comment on the situation.