by ZackFord Freelance Writer Rumors have long circulated that social justice educator and higher education guru Vernon Wall is actually famed drag persona and actor RuPaul. New evidence has emerged recently showing credible evidence that not only are the rumors true, but the two personas seem to be merging. Jess Brubaker, a graduate assistant in [...]

by Dash Phillips Freelance Writer For-profit education corporation Raycore, Inc. has embraced the adage “Soup is good food” and has taken it one step further, hoping that soup is good business, too. CEO Ray Williams announced today the establishment of the American Institute of Soup Sciences. “We are so proud to be moving forward and [...]

by Earl J. Liffey Freelance Writer Bernie Stelsky, Professor of Western European History at Blanton College, has come up with a truly revolutionary way to go green. Instead of asking students to buy books or print texts from a computer, Bernie is encouraging students to utilize the local resource of booksellers to read. “One day [...]

by Irma Pelt Senior Staff Writer Investigators seized documents from the Office of the Chancellor at Cagan College last week after receiving an inside tip of a cosmetic cover-up. Using funding from both the state and private donors, Cagan College completed extensive renovations of its thirteen campus buildings during the past year. Summer Gustafson, lead [...]

by Sasha Tremento Freelance Writer Based on data gathered in Facebook’s new privacy-free intellectual environment, CronkNews has identified the most popular tomes in college bookstores. Butt-Kickin’ Extremonomics, by Bob Clemens and Bob Jennings. Sequel to Extremonomics. Once again, the controversial University of Illinois economist and his journalist coauthor illuminate how the dismal science is not [...]

RT @Ryan_Warden Sure, your fake univ. gave u "marketable skills" and got u a "job," but where's your wry, ironically detached sense of self? # Did y'all see the old lady in Legion eat that guy's neck? Now, imagine our own @irmapelt on tonight's @jefflail podcast. http://ht.ly/1MLkV # The @CronkNews staff is listening to The [...]

Psychiatrists apologized this week for failing to correctly identify college sophomore Janet Szak’s bipolar disorder. An accurate diagnosis was not made until Szak was admitted to St. Bingham’s Hospital following a violent outburst in her college math class. “Janet came to see us to talk about her mood swings a few months ago,” said Dr. [...]

by Sasha Tremento Freelance Writer The Reverend Lowry Jenkins, president of Shepherd’s Field College in Pallamie, Alabama, is also director of the Creationism Alliance, which for a decade has pressed for Creationism to be presented along with evolution in K-12 and college science curricula as a viable and respected theory. Yesterday, however, at a specially [...]

by Alexander Riche Freelance Writer In a surprise move last month, the Library of Congress announced its intent to acquire all posts since March 2006 from social media site Twitter. The reaction was swift. Markus Trinion, a doctoral student doing his dissertation on faculty attitudes toward technology, described his frustration at the venerable institution’s surprise [...]

by Erica Price Freelance Writer Faculty and administrators at Devlin University are waiting with bated breath for the announcement of results from a rather unique budget reduction exercise after the university fell short on enrollment for the fourth consecutive year. “Things are getting desperate. We’re just out of ideas on how to cut any more [...]