Professor Declares War on Font

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by Brody Truce
Senior Staff Writer

Dr. Wayne Smithson, professor of creative writing at Fountain Hills College, has formally declared war on Courier font. In his newly released syllabi for fall 2010, the 73-year-old professor has assigned stern grade penalties for students who use Courier font on submitted writing assignments. An excerpt from his 400-level senior writing seminar reads:

“While I wholeheartedly encourage you to explore creativity via the content of your writing, that courtesy is not extended to your font choice. Students who elect to use the Courier font will automatically lose one letter grade.”

Courier font, which was designed for use with IBM typewriters in 1955, is a favorite font among students attempting to make their papers look longer than they actually are.

“It’s like a magic font,” said Britney Regan, a sophomore studying journalism. “Last week, I had to write a five page paper about badgers. I could only come up with three pages and I was totally freaked out until my roommate told me about Courier font. When I switched to that, I suddenly had five pages. Amazing! Plus it looks old-fashioned, which just makes the paper seem more official.”

Professor Smithson seemed ambivalent about students using courier to lengthen their papers.

“Courier font has been around since I started reading student papers 50 years ago. Frankly, I’m sick of it.”

Smithson is formally endorsing the following fonts: Calibri, Gill Sans Regular and Trebuchet.

News of Professor Smithson’s war against Courier font was first reported in the college’s online magazine, FHC Weekly, which is ironically printed in Courier font. Smithson reportedly stopped reading the magazine late last fall.