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Gen-X Mom Leaves Son’s Graduation in Blaze of Glory

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by Erica Price
Freelance Writer

Emergency personnel are being honored today at Central Indiana College for quick aid of an injured student at its annual commencement ceremony. John Sears, 21, is resting comfortably in an undisclosed location after sustaining injuries in a fall from the stage as he was about to accept his degree.

On what should have been a day of pride for the Sears family, Dolores Sears, John’s mother, is being held in police custody for reckless endangerment to her son. Witnesses say that when John’s name was called to receive his degree, Mrs. Sears ran from her seat, jumped on stage, and shoved her son out of the way with a cry of “I did it! I want to thank all the family and friends who helped me! That lazy kid had nothing to do with it! I knew I could do it!”

Long time family friend, Richard Lee, recalls a volatile history for Mrs. Sears.

“I remember Dolores when John played Pop Warner football. She was one tough cookie. She used to suit up in a team uniform ‘just in case she was needed’ at every game, but when she tried to go in his place on the field it was pretty easy to tell it was her,” said Lee.

Lee also said that when John went to high school, there were rumors that Dolores tried to take his driver’s test for him and even tried to take his SAT.

“The SAT proctors figured her out, but we still see John struggling with a three point turn while driving and all of us know why,” said Lee.

John’s college roommate, Hank Shall, said, “John worked really hard to keep his plans after graduation private. His mom declared his business major with a forged signature and was the one who submitted his résumé to that job at State Street Bank. One night after he’d had a few beers at a party he told me that that he’d been taking online classes secretly to prepare for the seminary. Maybe that’s why he started selling all of his stuff toward the end of the semester?”

John Sears is unavailable for comment as his location remains undisclosed.