News

College Creates Jobs for Elite Students Too Good to Work in Cafeteria

Print Friendly

Adams & Lee University has reinvented the work study job. In response to government pressure to address concerns that need-based student work study funds have not been used, the university tapped its creativity.

“Our students are better than the cafeteria jobs they\’ve been offered, and they know it,” said financial aid director Lamar Whardon. “They shouldn\’t have to get their hands dirty or smell like grease.”

Adams & Lee now offers a variety of new positions for students. Some of the jobs listed on their employment website include the following:

  • Student Assistant, President\’s Office

30 student worker desks have been added to the president\’s office suite so students can file paperwork and earn a recommendation letter with a presidential seal.

  • Sauna Supervisor, College Athletic Center

Job Description: Ensure the steam temperature and sauna climate is optimal for student use. Maintain positive communication with the poor people who clean up the sauna after you sweat all over the benches.

  • Affirmation Tester, Counseling Services Department

Job Description: Allow counselors to practice unconditional positive regard on you and permit the therapists to collect condescending feedback to help them grow as professionals.

“We supplement the pay for each job, so no one at Adams & Lee makes minimum wage,” says career development counselor Rubie Plum. “We need our students to practice demanding the best so they are as competitive as possible in the career marketplace.”

“I can\’t believe students at other colleges work in the dining hall,” said one satisfied student. “I need to make studying for my degree in social justice a priority. I couldn\’t handle the anxiety of working in a menial, humiliating job, too.”