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John is a sweet, energetic calculus adjunct. He loves hugs, kindness and a prescription card for his asthma medication.

Many young adjunct faculty across the nation have new hope of finding a home this year, as the Obama healthcare plan has extended benefits to dependent children up to twenty six years of age, if their employers do not provide coverage.

“I didn’t think I’d ever have health benefits,” said Corinda Lopez, a part-time writing instructor at St. Rutherford’s College. “Now, there’s hope, if I can just find a benevolent guardian through the Adjunct Adoption Agency.”

Lopez is one of many non-exempt professionals under the age of twenty six who could benefit from adoption. The Adjunct Adoption Agency works to pair faculty like Lopez with kind, loving, full-time, exempt families.

Amanda is fully house trained and hopes to find a family that has lots of pets for her to play with. She comes from an abusive background, in which she worked from a broom closet, but she dreams of a family from the humanities that will read to her at night so her nightmares will go away.

“President Obama’s plan could finally give me the dental work I’ve dreamed of,” said Roger Mandry, a member of the New Faculty Majority, a group advocating for adjunct equality. “We are a marginalized group, but at least there is hope, now. I met with a wonderful faculty couple from the Department of Chemistry last week, and they seemed to like me. I really really hope they call.”

“Charlie and I weren’t able to have children of our own,” said Professor Moira Abromowitz of Chesapeake Valley College. “Now, we can raise our very own non-tenure track Intro to Sociology teacher. We’ve already fixed up our corner bedroom with colorful mobiles and a collage of Disney characters. Now, we’re just waiting for the agency to call with the joyful news that our adjunct is here!”