Shocking Family Vacation Revelation: Everyone Already Knew Stefania Was Gay

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"Steve wore Birkenstocks from the time she could walk," said older sister Becky (left). "That was my first tip-off."

“It was devastating,” said college freshman Stefania Nadyana on Thursday after revealing to her family that she was gay. “I’d been practicing coming out to them all semester and they ruined everything. It was humiliating.”

“It’s been an extremely difficult situation,” said Oslo Nadyana, Stefania’s father. “We knew she was gay from the time she was four and asked us to please call her ‘Steve.’ We tried to act shocked and disappointed when she came out to us but we obviously failed.”

“I’ve been bragging about my lesbian sister ever since I went to college,” said Stefania’s older sister Becky. “Having a gay family member gives you credibility in certain circles. I knew I nailed my RA interview as soon as I mentioned Steve.”

“My family gave me brochures from PFLAG,” said Stefania about the awkward coming out conversation. “They asked me to be compassionate and try to empathize with their feelings but I don’t know if I’m ready. I’d invested so many hours with financial aid counselors, trying to prepare for being disowned… I’ll never get those hours back. My GLBT support group is going to hate me for all the time I spent rehearsing my family visit with them.”

“PFLAG told us that the coming out process takes time,” said Stefania’s mother Lili. “I don’t know whether Steve will ever truly fit in with us again but we’re going to try to accept her the way she is – even if that means pretending to be in denial a few more years.”