by Seamus O’Flannery Freelance Writer It was confirmed in a press release this week that the national higher education recruitment fair “The Placement Exchange” (TPE) will be cracking down on items institutions will be allowed give to candidates at the annual conference. This announcement comes after many complaints from smaller institutions regarding last year’s TPE [...]

by Hannah Q. Scott Freelance Writer Press Release: March 2011 Executives at match.com and eHarmony will send representatives to higher education job fairs OPE, TPE, and ACPA placement this year to learn ways to improve match-making. Ruth Stern from match.com stated, “Those student affairs folks really know how to hook people up with each other. [...]

by Aloysius St. Bernard Freelance Writer In a surprising turn of events, internationally acclaimed genomics expert Dr. David Eisenberg has confirmed claims made recently by troubled actor Charlie Sheen that he has “tiger blood” and “Adonis DNA.” Eisenberg, Director of the Institute for Genomics and Proteomics at the University of California-Los Angeles (UCLA), says he [...]

At the end of March the head writers from CronkNews.com will present a session called “The Funny Business of Placement” at the American College Personnel Association conference. We need your help! Send us a short video (mpg format) of you telling us about the job interview from your past (or current!) experience that still makes [...]

Doctors have finally verified claims that the College of Madison performed the fastest soulectomy in higher education history. “We couldn’t believe the soulectomy could be completed in less than two days,” said Dr. Rachel O’Quinn. “But all evidence points to verification.” According to the medical records, Dr. Juliette Mecum arrived for her first day of [...]

by Jeremy Sly Freelance Writer In a shocking series of events, Graduate Assistant Randy Forsmith has declared himself eligible for the upcoming 2011 Hall Director Draft, choosing to skip his remaining year in a quest for riches and stardom. The Breslin University graduate hall director has been labeled a hot commodity in the student affairs [...]

by Skye Kopfgeschlagen Freelance Writer After a miserable showing at Nationals, the men’s swim team at Harmony University decided to change tactics and start the first all-men’s synchronized swim team. “We come from the generation that refuses to accept failure,” said team captain Chad Snook. “We’re innovators and we saw a chance to win something!” [...]