Professor Tweets Complaining about Student Tweets Reaches All-Time High

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by Skye Kopfgeschlagen
Freelance Writer

"I don't use Twitter anymore," said freshman Mandi Arnold. "Since my professors have started doing it, it's just not cool."

With the rampant use of cell phones on Harmony University’s campus following the institution’s texting-as-class-participation pilot program, Twitter has become a popular way for faculty and staff to complain about the students with immediate gratification by “Tweeting” their frustrations.

One Tweet from a user called “@ProfHarmU” stated, “The little bombastic simpletons could not form a simple sentence if it slapped them in the face!” Another said, “If they can’t identify the food maybe we should start feeding them what they think it looks like!”

Several faculty and staff have been reprimanded due to intercepted Tweets that were read and shared among students and administration.

Wally Battle, an administrator at Harmony, stated, “This behavior is despicable when students are saying it, but downright inexcusable when adult employees are participating.”

An anonymous faculty member in the psychology department was quoted as saying, “I am sick and tired of these cell phones everywhere and I needed an outlet to express my feelings. What better way than through the same medium students use to create those feelings?”

Holly Swinson, a sophomore at Harmony University, said, “I don’t Tweet anymore because all my crazy professors are doing it and it’s kinda creepy.”

The Harmony campus is abuzz with cell phones, quite literally. No matter where you go, buzzing, ringing or little flashing lights indicate texts and new Tweets.

Computer Science Professor Kevin Goodspeed said, “I hardly look at my colleagues’ faces anymore, let alone remember how their voices sound. I just sit around on my cell phone texting and Tweeting. I can’t stop.”

“Can you say ‘Pot meet kettle?’ I mean, all these professors and people were complaining about the texting program and now they’re doing the same things they were accusing students of doing,” said student Carly Barfield.

The administration has decided to call an emergency council to convene due to the behavior around campus concerning cell phones; however, meetings are usually cut short due to cell phone usage.