Would You Drink the Kool Aid?

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by Skye Kopfgeschlagen
Freelance Writer

“It was not an appropriate question for a final exam,” said Psychology Chair Joel Kevin at Harmony University, referencing a test that has become a volatile topic among students and professors. Several students expressed concerns to Mr. Kevin following their final exam, comprised of a single question, in their Psychology of Aging class. Some students considered the question offensive and most students had no idea what the question meant.

According to Kevin, “The professor for this class regrets using only a single question as a final exam, and did not properly explain the reference since the younger generations are not as well informed.”

“Like, that stuff is ancient history, and like, I haven’t had Kool-Aid since I was a kid,” said Liz McPherson when asked about the question that led her to fail the class.

The professor who taught the class, who asked to remain anonymous (even though the class is listed in the course catalog), has acknowledged that the question was inappropriate, but stated emphatically that he had discussed the topic in class.

Another student, who received an A in the class despite flunking the exam and requested anonymity, said, “I’m in the Psych Honor Society, Psychology Club, and suck up regularly to every professor that can give me a brown nose. Still I’ve never heard of drinking Kool-Aid as being inappropriate. I drink Kool-Aid all the time!”

The controversy continues while the Harmony administration has announced that it is actively discussing possible solutions. Insiders predict that the administration will not have a decision until next year. Around campus, rumors run rampant that the professor will not be reprimanded but will receive a large grant to research student study patterns while drinking non-caffeinated drinks.

“What about the seniors!” said student Monica Weaver. “This is ridiculous. I can’t even graduate without this class! Maybe I should go drink some Kool-Aid.”