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by Lilian Kershaw
Freelance Writer

"Kids like this look sweet, sure," said Howell. "But don't judge until you've walked a day in my summer conference shoes – shoes filled with shaving cream."

Dr. Charlotte Digges, president of Lottie University, issued a statement today condemning the actions of Mr. Crawford Howell, director of summer conferences. “We at Lottie University value our long-standing partnership with the Greater Eastern Baptist Convention and, as a result of Mr. Howell’s outrageous comments, we have removed him from the Summer Conference program effective immediately.”

According to witnesses, Mr. Howell told a group of youth attending the annual Greater Eastern Baptist Convention conference that he hopes they “burn for all eternity in the fiery pits of hell, right next to Sadaam Hussein and Osama bin Laden.” It is unknown what brought about the outburst, but it appears to have followed an incident where the youth engaged in a violent food fight and failed to help clean up the dining hall.

The investigation into the incident will continue, says LU spokesperson Edward Barklay. “While it doesn’t excuse Mr. Howell’s behavior, we have reports that the participants of this particular camp have been ‘challenging’ to deal with for all LU staff. However, damning anyone to hell, especially a group of children, is inappropriate, regardless of their behavior.”