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Stephen Colbert Provides the Assist as Irma Pelt Counts Down to Book Launch

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“Listen, sissy boy, sticking out your pinkie isn’t going to instill confidence in our book,” said Pelt, interrupting his 5, 4, 3, 3, 1 countdown to the book launch.

Comedy Central’s Stephen Colbert appeared with CronkNews.com head writer Irma Pelt this morning to count down the final seconds before The Cronk of Higher Education urged its seasoned readers to join a campaign to make its new book Required Reading an Amazon best seller.

“I plied him with pink Boones Farm,” said Pelt. “It took about five seconds to charm him in to fully supporting our promotion of Required Reading and posing for risqué publicity shots.”

“Irma was a joy to work with,” said Colbert. “I’m thoroughly impressed with the masterful satire in Required Reading, and the fan-centric promotional campaign the CronkNews staff has created. I listened to their press conference last Saturday, and I’m already working on my Cronktorate.”

“He’s a total suck-up,” said Pelt about Colbert, forgetting she was still wearing a microphone on her purple tweed lapel. “He kept asking whether we were going to open a search for a new intern anytime soon. It was pretty pathetic, really.”

CronkNews is asking fans to buy a copy of their first anthology Required Reading: The Very Best of CronkNews.com on Amazon today between noon and 5:00 p.m. EST in order to help them promote the book.

“Our editor-in-chief keeps telling us that our readers are more likable than us,” said Pelt with a roll of her eyes. “Jimmy Kimmel will get a good laugh out of that when I see him next week.”

 

Editor’s Note:
Dear Comedy Central and Stephen Colbert:
Please don’t sue us or get pissy or crush us like the tiny comedy bugs that we are. We’re a small organization that has no money but lots of imagination and a 1996 version of Photoshop. Or, maybe you could sue us so we could be on E! News. That would be cool, too. But, anyway, don’t hate us, or anything like that, okay?”