According to his press release Bud Graham, the assistant office assistant for library services at Louisville Methodist University, has been promoted for the first time in his 23 years at the college.
“I’m thrilled to accept the captain position for the LMU Weight Watchers troop,” announced Graham. “I’ve worked hard at the college, and I’ve always wanted a bigger title. It’s clearly an intimidating role and no one else was brave enough to step forward, but I won’t let that kind of intimidation stop me.”
According to the press release, “Graham (who will also retain his assistant office assistant title and duties at the library) has taken on a number of new responsibilities. He will:
- help distribute educational pamphlets at Weight Watchers weigh-ins
- put away metal folding chairs after each meeting, and
- forward Weight Watchers corporate newsletters to other LMU participants
“In the past, I’ve been given supervisory feedback that I’m awkward and make people feel weird, but obviously my bosses were clueless. I just had to be patient until a job worthy of my leadership talents emerged. I’ve been ready for a significant promotion like this for 22 years,” said Graham at a press conference he held for the guy standing behind him in the campus cafeteria line. “People will probably start calling me ‘Captain Graham,’ but I think it’s okay if my friends just say ‘Captain Bud.’ I want them to know I’m still one of them.”