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Civility Nanny iPhone App Finally Released

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After months of speculation, rumors a Civility Nanny iPhone app have proven true. According to its developers at NanoSmile Inc., Civility Nanny is the perfect tool for faculty and staff committed to maintaining a campus climate defined by civility.

Before any staff meeting or interpersonal encounter, the users can pull out their phones and tell colleagues that they’re expecting an emergency call. Throughout a meeting the app will monitor all audio and visual activity and trigger a loud ring tone when even the slightest change in a voice tone or facial expression indicates that honest discourse could commence. The ringing phone will block all distasteful disagreement, alternative viewpoints or unnecessary dialogue.

This app represents how technology and values can sing together in perfect harmony,” said Catherine O’Hanahan, president of St. Rutherford’s College. “I’m requiring all faculty and staff at our college to walk the talk about civility and download the app.”

Not all faculty are in agreement about the mandate at St. Rutherford’s, but discussion had to be tabled at a recent academic senate meeting when President O’Hanahan was interrupted unexpectedly to assist with a campus crisis.

A companion app is also in development at NanoSmile Inc. based on technology used in digital cameras to recognize smiles. The new app will be a game that awards points to individuals who habitually smile, nod and offer gratuitous platitudes during times of stress. Points will be redeemed for exciting prizes like office kitten posters and Precious Moments figurines.