No joke. The fake journalists at the phony higher ed news magazine The Cronk of Higher Education couldn’t believe there was no official day, week or month dedicated to the high art of irony and have jumped into action. “It’s unacceptable to ignore satire!” said Cronk senior writer Irma Pelt. “But also predictable. As the [...]

by Jeffrey Ross Freelance Poet With special thanks to Robert Frost’s “The Road Not Taken (1915).” Two programs diverged in the advising office And sorry I could not afford both And be a scholar, long I stood in line And looked at the assessment testing chaos Where autumnal students languished in computer orchards; Then enrolled [...]

by I.M. Knott-Tawkin Freelance Writer Breaking new ground in the troubled college town of Keelan, Ohio, a band of traveling mediators has offered to come on board to soothe the ruffled feathers of citizens worried about campus growth and unruly student behavior. Called the Town And Gown Team (TAG Team for short), their planned role [...]

“Some of my best friends are student affairs professionals,” says tenured professor. by AJ Marshfield Freelance Writer With another academic year quickly approaching, Sisyphus University Faculty Provost Taché Inutile and VP of Student Affairs Elle Echec formulated a plan to bring two ostensibly opposed sides of campus together: faculty and student affairs professionals. “We’ve noticed [...]

by Schubert Lovenkraft Freelance Writer Chanting, “Ho, Ho, Hey, Hey, we deserve a 401K,” Humanities graduate teaching assistants marched on the Carver Administration Building today after voting overwhelmingly to unionize. “Look at me!” said a beleaguered Dylan Hawthorne. “I started grad school in the 90s. I should be thinking about retirement and I haven’t even [...]