In addition to epidemic-level cases of influenza and mental health disorders, college health centers are also reporting marked increases in what the Center for Disease Control is calling Post-Dramatic Stress Disorder (PDSD). “It’s incredibly common, and spreading at a record speed,” said Colton College psychologist Jorgen Kesselman. “Students are spreading it without even knowing [...]

by Lilian Kershaw Freelance Writer   In a speech to a joint meeting of the Faculty Senate and Student Government Association, Van Buren University President Bartholomew O’Bannon presented his solution for the rising rate of failing GPAs amongst the student body. The failure rate amongst VBU students reached an all-time high of 25% after the [...]

by Lilian Kershaw Freelance Writer The Middling Education Honorary (or, M.E.H.) has awarded Frome University the infamous Golden Artichoke for demonstrating mediocrity in student achievement. The announcement has stunned many in this small university community, who believed that they were working towards loftier goals. “During last year’s academic year kick-off, our Vice President told us [...]

The Department of Judicial Conduct at Adams & Lee University has invested in vending machines for its student union where students can conveniently buy justice. “We’re a prestigious college,” said André Kerr, director of judicial conduct. “Forcing students to go out of their way to hire lawyers or get their parents involved in negotiating student [...]

by Dana Lancer Freelance Writer Pedantica State University of Pennsylvania claims to have introduced the country’s first major in Unpopular Culture. A spokesperson for the university’s School of Arts and Sciences indicates that interest in the new major is strong. “We think this is cutting edge,” said Dr. Reese Arborio, the school’s deputy director of [...]