Staff Assistant Description Want to help CronkNews.com with general duties but not sure the specific positions we’ve listed are for you? Eager to help but not sure what sort of time commitment you can realistically make? Tell us about your talents and ideas. From editorial assistance to administrative support, tell us what sorts of holes [...]

Like Willy Wonka, The Cronk of Higher Education is opening its gates to a few new staff members. What started as a 3-person grassroots operation has grown into a beast that requires more personnel. If you get what we do and think you can help us thrive we hope you’ll consider joining the ranks. Fine [...]

Publicity Assistant Description Design and execute creative publicity outreach and campaigns to promote an ever-growing universe of CronkNews.com, Cronk-hosted events, Cronk speakers bureau and merchandise. Qualifications Proven networking skills (preference for someone who understands PR networks in higher education) Kick-ass writing and marketing skills Oodles of creativy and ability to efficiently turn ideas into reality [...]

Staff Writers Description We need more writers! The core editorial staff at CronkNews.com has decided that giving birth to twins, moving across the country and working on dissertations are reasonable excuses for writing less. We need some additional smarties to write, illustrate or make videos for The Cronk of Higher Education. Staff writers would have [...]

Undergraduate Beat Satirists Description CronkNews.com would like to expand its base of freelance writers and we’d particularly like to tap the people who know students best – students. If you know brilliant snarky students with an edge of nonconformity and an eye for hypocrisy, please encourage them to submit articles, cartoons or videos. Qualifications Smart [...]

Alumni from Flanders University made a special nostalgia tour upon their return to campus for their 20th class reunion. More than 40 former students visited Magnifica Hall to pay tribute to the penis-shaped carpet stain in the fourth floor study lounge. “I remember when Curtis spilled his rum & Coke on the floor of the [...]

by Freelance Poet Jeffrey Ross Special Thanks to Emily Dickinson— “Because I could not Stop for Death” Because I could not stop for Calc– He kindly mastered me– The Future held but just Ourselves– And endless Tutoring. I merely Groaned, he knew no haste– And I had put away My weekends, and Vacations too– For [...]

by Shubert Lovenkraft Freelance Writer This fall hundreds of senior administrators will announce strategic planning initiatives in an effort to transform the mission for their college, division or department. In most cases, however, these efforts will produce nothing more than an unintelligible blur of jargon and platitudes. While technology can’t solve everything, at least it [...]

McGinley College is reeling after officials woefully misjudged its enrollment figures for fall faculty egos. “We hadn’t anticipated the spike beyond our normal ego quota of 5.6%,” said Chancellor Julia Tenny. “The unexpectedly large 10% ego inflation has created dilemmas we hadn’t imagined.” The college now scrambles to find larger office spaces with prettier furniture, [...]