The department of international student services at Vermont College of Arts released a statement to campus colleagues this week to alert them to a departmental name change.
“We have always taken pride in resisting arbitrary style rules by capitalizing ‘Department of International Student Services’ but we’ve achieved new levels of performance that require recognition,” said ISS department director Lloyd Ortiz. “Our request for staff promotions was denied, but we’re innovators and we’ve found a solution.”
According to Ortiz’s memo, the Department of International Student Services will add an exclamation point to the titles of both its office and staff members.
“We considered italics,” said Carolina Edmonds, Associate Director! of International Student Services!. “We found that a lot of email programs use plain text that doesn’t recognize bold, italics or other graphic options. The exclamation point makes more practical and philosophical sense.”
“I’m excited by the change!” said Office Manager! Diana Wu. “I’ve just ordered new letterhead, business cards, office placards and brochures. “Please remember to bookmark our new office URL at VCAInternationalStudentServicesExclamationPoint.edu.”
“I’m feeling melancholy about the change to ISS!” said ISS! Intern! Frederica Wietz. “The Department! had to fire another intern to pay for all the new materials but The Director! tells me learning to deal with change is a sign of maturity.”