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Adult-Learner Facebook Class Tackles the Tough Issues

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by Brody K. Truce
Senior Staff Writer

Star pupil Mildred Gervais practices writing posts that are just dramatic enough to draw all her friends attention.

HILLBURG, Florida. Hillburg College launched a new adult learner annex earlier this week, hoping to cash in on a growing population of adults facing employment challenges.

“Our community unemployment rate is soaring, so we’re hoping to provide timely education that will help people become gainfully employed,” explained Tracey Donovan, Director of Student Admissions at Hillburg College.

The adult annex opened shop in a recently vacated Circuit City at the Hillburg Galleria Mall. College leadership is hoping to attract adult learners with low rates, timely topics and a “stop while you shop,” approach.

“I think it’s a great idea,” said shopper Christine Porter. “You can go shopping, stop by the food court and then learn something.”

Participants in the annex’s first one-hour class, “Facebook….Now What?!” left with rave reviews.

“My kids set up a Facebook for me but they didn’t show me how to do it, so this class was perfect for me,” explained Fran Zecher. “The instructor was so patient.”

“I liked that we dealt with real-life issues,” said Barb Silverton. “And they also let me bring my soda and Bavarian pretzel into the class. Unlike DOTS, where they make you leave it at the door.”

The curriculum for the class included a series of case studies, including:

Case Study 1: Your high school friend, a recent divorcee, changes her relationship status to “in a relationship” with someone who is 20 years old. What do you do?

A. Post a comment under the status update that reads, “Congratulations to you both!”
B. Immediately friend request the 20 year old and get as much dirt as possible from their profile.
C. Quit Facebook. There’s just too much drama!

Case Study 2: Your boss sends you a friend request. What do you do?

A. Ignore the request and hope s/he doesn’t ask you about it at work.
B. Accept the friend request and quickly lock down your privacy settings.
C. Quickly review your previous posts for questionable posts about work.

Case Study 3: You just ate breakfast and boy, was it good! What do you do?

A. Post a photo of your breakfast.
B. Post a comment about your breakfast and share your secret recipe.
C. Go about your day–food posters are annoying!

Case Study 4: Your best friend is obsessed with Farmville and her posts clog up your newsfeed. What do you do?

A. Remove her from your friend list. If she asks, just tell her that you’re “taking a break” from Facebook.
B. Host an online intervention; post, “It seems like you’re spending a lot of time on Farmville these days,” on her wall.
C. Block all Farmville posts.

Case Study 5: A high school friend tags you in a photo–you know, the one with the bad perm and the sausage roll? What do you do?

A. Comment, “LOL” and move on with your day.
B. Remove the tag and disavow any knowledge of said perm.
C. Find a picture of your friend that’s even worse, post it and tag her–see how she likes a dose of her own medicine.

Case Study 6: Your oldster friend Chris chastises you for joining “The Facebook.” What is the nature of Chris’s concerns regarding Facebook?

A. People can use Facebook to steal your identity.
B. Facebook is a waste of time!
C. Facebook is a government conspiracy to spy on you.
D. That Mark Zuckerberg person sounds like a foreigner.