Move-Out Bingo. Play along!
Move-out Bingo
We see a lot of strange things on move-in day..and we’re glad to see them go on move-out day. Be sure to check off the spaces to win*.
*There’s no prize. The prize is an empty residence hall.
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Dumpster Divers More power to them. The dumpster is actually probably making those items CLEANER. |
The Illegal Pet What…is that kid carrying…an iguana!? An iguana? That thing lived two floors away from me all YEAR? I’m going to get them…you know what? Screw it. They’re leaving. |
Food Donation Bin Filled with 85 packets of Ramen and, inexplicably, a jar of capons. |
Coordinator Responsible for Summer Housing B*tching All. Day. Long. We know, your hall never closes. Neither does your mouth. Suck it up, cupcake. |
Clothes Hanger The same one from opening. Same spot on the floor. It is the one constant in your life. |
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Sweat Stains They’re back…only now it is beer sweat. Beer. Sweat. The smell that cannot be unsmelled. |
“Recyling Only” Dumpster Filled with Non-Recyclables Finals are over; reading is overrated. |
Hall Coordinator Parking DO NOT BLOCK “Free” Space |
Your Boss Last time you saw them in your hall it was Homecoming. Welcome them with open arms. |
Concerned Parent They’ve been calling their child for an hour and can’t find them. You, of course, know where they are as you pulled them out of a puddle of their own vomit just a few short hours ago. |
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Missing Paperwork The neatly filed Room Condition Reports from August do not exist. They just don’t. Have a good cry. |
Lazy RAs Evals are done and they’re not returning next fall. You will not get sh*t out of them. Don’t even try. |
Street Signs/Campus Signs Apparently there’s no room at mom and dad’s house for the bathroom signs from the student union. |
Hall Furniture Making its way back into the correct rooms, piece by piece. |
Your Will to Live Missing since August. We told you it would be back. |
by A.J. Marshfield, Staff Writer
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