I’m a Vice President! What Are You?
by Jeffrey Ross, Parody Poet
With Special Thanks to Emily Dickinson, Real Poet
I’m a Vice President! What are you?
Are you—a VP– Too?
Then there are fifty of us!
Don’t tell! they’d reorganize—you know!
How weary—to be—a Dean!
How common—take the Lead –
To meet and greet—the whole Career–
To chair— the Potluck Feed!



Just a note in response to the several hundred emails I have received about this poem. I am referring only to full Vice Presidents– not associate, assistants to, interim, acting, or executive VP’s. A poem the length of Whitman’s “Song of Myself” would be required to address all of those subtypes! Thank you, Jeffrey.