As Atlas College celebrates its thirtieth consecutive year at the top of US News and World Report’s regional college list, mathematicians have discovered a quantum anomaly in Atlas’s economic structure. With tuition priced at nearly $80,000 per academic year, Atlas has exactly zero sons or daughters of its faculty and staff in attendance. “We are […]
The National College Measuring Service (NCMS) has released the results of its 2009 Faculty Values Assessment. Don Kraut, who managed the project, announced surprising results in the area of “Top Anxiety Causers.” In order, professors reported the following fears: Twitter and other new technology Swine Flu Mean students Mean colleagues “We expected some of the […]
Please mark your calendars for Friday’s pity party to honor Gwendalin Dixon. Gwendalin has been reassigned from her role as Vice President of Academic Affairs to step into the newly created Director of Special Secret Programs position. In this position, which was specifically designed for her unique and wonderful skill set, Dr. Dixon will […]
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