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Poetry: When I do Count the Costs of My Degree

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by Jeffrey Ross, Parody Poet
Special Thanks to William Shakespeare, Real Poet

 

Experts agree, a proper career counselor would have urged Shakespeare to pursue a major in computer science or pharmaceuticals.
Experts agree, a proper career counselor would have urged Shakespeare to pursue a more practical major like computer science or pharmaceutical research.

When I do count the costs of my degree,
And see the job-ops flicker day and night;
When I presume the butchers’ cash-rich ease,
And Wall Street starting jobs so dollar bright;

This adjunct’s pay will barely buy my gas,
I’m forced to work the circus like a bear,
Though VP’s second homes are beauty-masked,
Cheap-clippers shred my white and gnarly hair,

Then of my education do I ask,
For all these years and money I have spent,
My bank could fill but one small meager flask
And still I work and cannot pay the rent;

And being poor I must not choose to wait
I’ll teach online in this– or any state.