Quinn “Q-Bee” Benton, quarterback of the Arkansas Liberal Arts Acorns, forgot that he was actually a nobody this week when he wasn’t moved to the front of the seating line at Waffle House. “It was French Toast Friday, so we had a large crowd that night,” said Waffle House manager Roscoe Prodkin. “All of the […]
The past decades have seen revolutionary changes in sex-unfriendly dorm mattress technology, along with noble reasons for the innovations. “I have chafing marks on my back from dorm sex,” complained student Corrine Bing. “It\’s hard enough fitting two people into a twin bed, but it\’s really humiliating when the rubber mattress makes those weird friction […]
by Matthew Michael Freelance Writer Slipsgate University has announced that this year’s commencement speaker is Dr. James M. Parks, a researcher whom few students have heard of and whom even fewer will bother to Google. Parks plans to motivate the newly minted but unemployable college graduates by sharing his own inspiring story of rising from […]
You must be logged in to post a comment.