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University Runs Out of Acronyms. Panic Ensues.

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by Freddie Branch
Freelance Writer

"We heard an old saying that if you give enough monkeys typewriters one will type a good acronym,"
“We heard an old saying that if you give enough monkeys typewriters one will type a good acronym,” said Casper. “We’ve ordered fifty  macaques for our department just in case.”

The RICC (Rhode Island Coast College) DSA (Division of Student Affairs) has run out of available acronyms. “We make acronyms out of everything. It’s part of our identity,” said Dean of Students Amelie Creedy. “The abbreviations save us time and sounds cool. When students learn our acronyms they feel a part of an exclusive club – or RSO as we would call it. In all of my years at RICC from a DA to CA, RA, HRA, HD, CC, AC, AD, D and now to my current role as DOS we never thought this day would come.”

Richard Casper, AC of the ACC (Area Coordinator of the Alexandra Chicoin Complex) agreed. “Back in the day it easy to create acronyms for positions and committees because there were so many possibilities and, looking back, it’s easy to see that we were loose and reckless,” said Casper. “Over the past few years we have had to get very creative with positions names. We already had an SAA (Senior Academic Advisor) so when we decided we needed a Senior Administrative Assistant we were trapped.”

Both Creedy and Casper plan on an acronym tour of other colleges and universities around the region, including conversations with the English Department of each school they visit. Unfortunately, as of this story going to print they have been unable to find an appropriate acronym for the visit.